Cinquain

One thought
carousels in
my mind. It won't retreat
until I resolve it. The the
next comes.

dawn 10/09/11

aargh

This is not my life.
I did not choose to be,
did not design this frame.
This is not my life.
Am I so lost that even
I am become strange?
This is not my life
I did not choose to be.
This life condemned me.

dawn 10/04/11

Sapphic

Forgiveness

Falling, drops of water down your face
unnoticed. I've gone beyond the urge
to help you. Instead I hand you
a fresh tissue.

Simply, I wish I cared how you are feeling.
But I am caught in my own anger
and so your guilt no longer moves me.
Except it does, some.

Someday, I'll find the weakness to forgive you ,
pretending that it never happened.
And we'll forget you ever hurt me.
Until you do.


dawn 10/2/11

Rondelet

Connor

Little bold one.
These years when I thought all this done,
little bold one.
Unexpected yet on the throne
fitting no mold but your own.
Little bold one.


dawn 10/1/11

happy birthday, Connor

Villanelle

Stand Alone

Stand alone and have your say
someone else will take your part
kindred souls will come your way.

Never let the silence weigh
you can only speak your heart
stand alone and have your say.

One strong voice can soon convey
a message, then the movement starts
kindred souls will come your way.

Silent protest holds no sway
voiced the hero makes his mark
stand alone and have your say.

Even if some are unswayed
even if the message jars
kindred souls will come your way.

When the time has come to pray
when injustice holds the fort
stand alone and have your say
kindred souls will come your way.

dawn 10/3/11

Free Verse

Why I Love My Mother

She beat me, belittled me,
called me a whore.
She broke me over and over.
She screamed, she shoved
she smashed my head.
She pulled my hair.
Is that not reason enough?
And why do I hate her?
She gave birth to me.

9/27/11 dawn

Triolet

Your false superiority
has angered me a bit.
Submit to your authority,
your false superiority?
No, I'm in the majority
you precocious little shit
and your false superiority
has angered me a bit.

dawn 9/26/11

Unlabeled for my Convenience

I was tired and the rain woke me.
I was sad and the thunder cheered me.
I was dull and the lightning charged me.
I was in tears and the water soothed me.

I was lost til the wilderness found me.
I was tame til a man trained me.
I was alone til the crowds left me.
I was in tears til the water soothed me.

I will wake when sleep has claimed me.
I will dance when the ground holds me.
I will be free when ties bind me.
I won't cry when the waters take me.





9/19/11 dawn

Five Cinquains on a Rainy Monday

1.
Mother
you gave me your
anger but never a
sign that approval was mine.
Failure.

2.
Hopeless
is not the right
antonym for hopeful. It
ought to be much stronger, as in
bereft.

3.
Daughters
can never be
sons, can never be men or
scions. Daughters are still only
girl things.

4.
Follow
the right path and
meet me in heaven. Or don't.
Your apathy is equal to
my pride.

5.
Wordless
people stretch their hands
out empty and snatch them
back filled with guilt, pity and love,
then run.


9/19/11 dawn

Free Verse (kind of)

If I had dreams
(a luxury I gave up long ago)
they'd seem very ordinary to
my younger self.

If I had hopes
(a foolish pasttime, don't you agree?)
they'd be so minor as to
escape Pandora's notice.

If I could pray
(a habit lost when God turned away from me)
I'd ask for very little as
that is all I deserve.

If I had tears
(I used to cry easily, but no longer)
I'd save them for the
wrecks I've made in other's lives.

If I had time
(a commodity in scant supply these days)
I'd change just one thing
and then all would be right.


9/18/11 dawn

Cinquain

Again

Once more
we set upon
a path we did not choose.
We curse the pathmakers,
then go.


9/17/11 dawn

Pantoum

I Go to Wake the Dead

I go to wake the sleeping dead,
Not gently but with raucous noises.
I want to know if they feel dread
When required to defend their choices.

Not gently, but with forceful noise,
I demand they lay their secrets bare.
If required to defend this choice,
I’ll simply state “Because I dare.”

My demand they lay their secrets bare
Will be met with incredulity
But this I’ll do because I dare,
And dead secrets deserve no sympathy.

I’ll counter your incredulity
With “Well, you’d doubtless do the same.”
Dead secrets deserve no sympathy,
And old corpses can scarcely feel the shame.

These dead men, they would do the same
To satisfy questions long left cold
Old corpses, feeling little shame
Will feel no better when they’ve told.

Satisfied, my questions will again grow cold,
And I’ll also know if they felt dread.
Dead secrets are better when they’re told,
So I go to wake the sleeping dead.


2003 (posted 9/16/11) dawn

Rondelet

The Twins


I feel them still.
They're hand in hand in all my dreams.
I feel them still.
My empty womb enfolds them still.
Though buried under waving trees,
I cannot bring myself to see,
I feel them still.



9/16/11 dawn

Free Verse

I went to the funeral of a child yesterday
Not someone I knew well, but someone’s child
Someone’s hope and dreams were being buried
Under the dead winter grass and the bright sunshine
Seemed to mock a father’s grief

I went to the funeral of a man yesterday
Not long a man, but a husband, a father
And their future was being laid to rest
As the wedding ring, still untarnished
Twinkled on a slender, shaking hand

I went to the funeral of a nephew yesterday
A grandson, a brother, a friend
Hoping that all turmoil and selfishness
Could be put aside for one brilliant, cold
Afternoon of grief

I went to the funeral and I learned, yesterday
That there is only tragedy in the death
Of a young man, that people don’t become better
Or worse through grief and that I want to die
Before my child.



03/24/2011 dawn

Sonnet

Always, There is Regret

There's freedom in your eyes, you're so adept,
inviting me to join you in your play.
That kind of freedom's way beyond my depth,
though it's a struggle just to walk away.


Regretting is my least besetting sin;
I've made so many errors I deserve
to replay chances missed and my chagrin
is not misplaced or wasted. Please observe


my hands no longer tremble when you pass.
You were a longed-for possibility
but possibilities are molten glass;
unshaped they turn to puddles of debris.


When I said no, I saved us both some pain,
but won't regret regretting you again.




2001 (posted 9/15/11) dawn

Kyrielle

Behavioral Isolation




Those words, spoken in anger, words
you didn't mean, didn't want heard;
they flew out, angry hurtful birds.
Those moments always get away.

Tiny sins, piled high through the years,
never quite cause visible tears
but remembered long, it appears.
The moment always gets away.

Until one day, they look at you
with hate. The way you always knew
they'd feel because you can't undo
the moments that all got away.

It's too late for sorry, too late
to make amends. Time didn't wait;
you always did procrastinate
and the moments you let get away

won't come back. So your mouth is dry
as they say that final goodbye
but you aren't allowed time to cry;
that moment also got away.



2002/2003 (published 9/17/11) dawn

Quantative Accentual

Dear Alisa, I Surrender

I found this note in your pants. She has a pretty
name. Alisa. Is that how you say it?
And is she pretty enough to
live up to her name? She
likes you, it's quite
a note.

But you'll have to admit that her spelling is bad.
She uses little hearts to dot her i's. How
old is she? Don't stare at me like
that; I'm just curious
I think I have
a right.

No, it’s been a couple days; I'm over the shock.
I've spent the time deciding what to do.
I thought I'd watch you, see if you
appeared guilty, if I'd
missed some clue. Was
I dumb?

to miss this addition of Alisa to our
lives? You're good at it, covering your trail
This note was your only mistake.
Have you had practice? Is
she the first or
the last?

Don't answer. It doesn't matter. I was trying
to decide, you know, what to do about
this, and I realized I just
don't give a shit. It's
over and I
don't care.

Triolet

Am I Not?





There ain't nobody like me,
and that's not such a good thing;
it makes a person lonely.
There ain't nobody likes me.
I can't say I disagree;
I'm kinda irritating.
There ain't nobody like me
but maybe that's a good thing.

When I think about my life,
which I try not to, often,
I'm someone's mother or wife.
I don't think about my life,
when I can help it. I like
to reinvent and soften,
when I think about my life,
which I try not, too often.


2002/3 (published 9/17/11) dawn

Sapphic

A Paralyzing Sense of Responsibility




Ugly, my thoughts today are full of nasty
subjects. I want to make the world unhappy.
Angry does not describe the way I'm feeling.
I'd kill my children.


Sort of, I understand those wretched women
maddened by life's recurrent dose of bullshit.
Thankful I can control my rampant "ugly"
until tomorrow.


Sorry, I can't regain the old complacence.
Gnashing, my teeth are grinding life to powder.
Children should not be careful of their mothers
but sometimes mine are.




2002/3 (published 9/17/11) dawn

Haiku

Why I Left California



I didn't see it,
only felt its vast power.
A mountain moving.

It stopped, but the ground,
unleashed, no inclination
to stop, ran forward.

Time is stopped by one
massive geologic cough
and then sirens wail.




2002/3 (published 9/17/11) dawn